The Headlines.

2026-05-18 JUST ASKING QUESTIONS

Why is "phonetic" not spelled the way it sounds? Who hurt the linguists?

2026-05-17 BIRDS

Magpie hoards shiny objects & claims it's "investing in precious metals."

2026-05-16 LOCAL

Lift doors close just as you approach. Your reflection mocks you.

2026-05-15 TODAY IN HISTORY

(1983) Internet protocol developed. Nobody predicts cat video dominance.

2026-05-14 FACT

The best way to remember something is to forget to write it down.

2026-05-13 OPINION

Every playlist should be required to explain its emotional trajectory upfront.

2026-05-12 JUST ASKING QUESTIONS

How do "Do Not Walk On Grass" signs get there?

2026-05-11 OPINION

Top three lies: "I've read the terms and conditions", "I'm five minutes away", and "Just one more episode".

2026-05-10 TODAY IN HISTORY

(1994) First spam email sent. Humanity's doom foretold.

2026-05-09 BREAKING

Person successfully opens plastic packaging without scissors or rage.

2026-05-08 TODAY'S FEAR

Realising you've been wrong about someone's name for months.

2026-05-07 FACT

The optimal bread-to-butter ratio remains unsolved despite centuries of research.

2026-05-06 BREAKING

Sofa cushion surrenders remote control after three-month standoff.

2026-05-05 FACT

The "quick meeting" has never been quick in recorded history.

2026-05-04 OPINION

The real pandemic was the meetings we scheduled along the way.

2026-05-03 SPECULATION

Autocorrect is fully aware of your name. It simply thinks there's a better one.

2026-05-02 WEATHER

Vaguely ominous, veering foreboding later.

2026-05-01 TODAY'S FEAR

Text message saying "we need to talk" with no context or timeframe.

2026-04-30 JUST ASKING QUESTIONS

Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?

2026-04-29 WEATHER

Aggressively fine. Neither good nor bad. Perfectly adequate.