The Parodical Periodical.
Robert'); DROP TABLE Articles; -- • 2025-12-18 • free (or by donation)
TODAY'S PHONE IN.Coffee beans are seeds. Trees grow from seeds. Why do you hate trees? Do you WANT deforestation?
PHOTOGRAPHY.Camera app auto-filters out guests who look vaguely disappointed.
OPINION.It's time to replace airport security with vibe checks.

The Headlines.

2025-12-18 TODAY'S PHONE IN
Coffee beans are seeds. Trees grow from seeds. Why do you hate trees? Do you WANT deforestation?
2025-12-17 PHOTOGRAPHY
Camera app auto-filters out guests who look vaguely disappointed.
2025-12-16 OPINION
It's time to replace airport security with vibe checks.
2025-12-15 FACT
86% of statistics you see on the internet were made up on the spot, including this one.
2025-12-14 JUST ASKING QUESTIONS
Ancient civilisations blame climate change for their fall. Why didn't they just check a weather app?
2025-12-13 OPINION
Ending small talk in favour of deep existential conversations: an idea whose time has come.
2025-12-12 ACTION
Roll for initiative. Also for coffee.
2025-12-11 SPECULATION
Retro-computing will be the extreme sport of the 2030s.
2025-12-10 TODAY IN HISTORY
(1932) Great Emu War ends. The might of the Australian Army proved no match for a flock of birds.
2025-12-10 TODAY IN HISTORY
(2003) First use of "LOL" in a serious academic paper leads to widespread panic in the research community.
2025-12-09 OPINION
The return of VHS tapes would end all streaming service disputes.
2025-12-08 LOCAL
Local man Timmy Two-Nostrils says, "Why the fuck d'you keep calling me Timmy Two-Nostrils‽"
2025-12-07 SPECULATION
Bread crusts: the currency of the future?
2025-12-06 WASTE MANAGEMENT
Local recycling centre offers a dedicated skip for "Things I Thought I'd Keep".
2025-12-05 OPINION
Perhaps centralising the vast majority of the World Wide Web and putting it behind a single point of failure wasn't such a good idea after all.
2025-12-05 BREAKING
Local cat elected mayor on a promise of more naps for all workers. Also, no more work.
2025-12-04 JUST ASKING QUESTIONS
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, did Prince Charming have a complex foot fetish?
2025-12-03 OPINION
Reintroduction of floppy disks would entirely fix modern cybersecurity.
2025-12-02 WEATHER
Cold snap politely requests you reconsider your wardrobe choices.
2025-12-01 BREAKING
Website gains "human made" badge. Web daemon goes on strike with cry of "You serve the bloody pages, then!"